Note: statistics are cached and only generated once every two days.
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 562 | Total Joke Score: | 29,362 |
| Country: |
United kingdom 
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Total Time Active: | 418 hours, 12 minutes |
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 953 | Live Jokes: | 433 |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 520 | Duplicate Jokes: | 42 |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 30.81 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 67.81 |
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The best of Fyffes's 433 jokes (View All)
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I couldn't care less how you people vote. This post will achieve a score of over 1,000 points whether you like it or not. Regards, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. |
 
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Joke by Fyffes in Celebrities - ??? Other Celebrities (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
- Current Score: 4,208.2
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I was furious when I discovered my wife had set up a website to help the victims of domestic violence. She got 200 hits in the first hour. |
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Joke by Fyffes in Politics - Customs and Revenue - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
- Current Score: 1,004.6
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After a night on the piss in Whitehaven, I threw up in a taxi this morning. I was worried about the cost of valeting the car but the driver generously said, "Somebody is going to pay for this," before speeding off. What a nice guy. |
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Joke by Fyffes in In The News - Cumbria Shootings - Derrick Bird - Added: 3 months ago
- Current Score: 795
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My wife has eczema all over her chest. She's got a cracking pair of tits. |
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If you hit me at 40mph there's around an 80% chance I'll die. Hit me at 30mph and there's around an 80% chance I'll live. But if you fire your shotgun at me from your taxi, I'm completely fucked. |
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Joke by Fyffes in In The News - Cumbria Shootings - Derrick Bird - Added: 3 months ago
- Current Score: 732
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I rammed an ice lolly up my arse earlier. It was Fab. |
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I was arrested yesterday for assaulting Naomi Campbell in a D.I.Y. store. I only went in to get a Black and Decker. |
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Last night I poured antifreeze into my friend's alcopop. He's now paralysed and blind. Have you got a WKD side? |
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My wife sent me a card saying "Get Better Soon" today. I'm not ill, I'm just crap at sex. |
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Joke submitted by Fyffes, originally by Advert in Sex and shit - Sex - Added: 1 month, 13 days ago
- Current Score: 592.8
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My girlfriend wasn't impressed with my new memory foam mattress. I think it was the imprints of a me, a 9 year old boy and a donkey that made her mind up. |
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