JackTheRippa's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 684 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 4,759 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 364 hours, 0 minutes | ||
The best of JackTheRippa's 368 jokes (View All).
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One Dies, Millions Cry. Millions Die, No One Cries. The difference between Whitney's death and the wank I just had. |
 
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I've come up with the perfect system that pays out every time I go to the bookies. Watch who wins then mug them on the way home. |
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I've just bought myself a hyena. Finally my jokes will be appreciated. |
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I've just played the Nigerian version of Cluedo. It turned out to be Abasiama Dideoluwakusidede, in the mud hut with somebody else's bank details. |
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"Eat your carrots!" Said my wife to our son, "They'll help you see in the dark." "And don't forget to eat your runner beans" I butted in. His future victims don't stand a chance. |
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MUSLIMS ACROSS THE WORLD: I join you in your dirty protest against foreign forces invading your homelands, we have exactly the same problem in England. |
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I went into the fines office today to pay a speeding ticket, the clerk said, "How would you like to pay your fine?" "Cash and you're not too bad yourself." I replied. |
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"Will you pass me that saffron and nutmeg please." asked my wife. So I passed her the saffron then headbutted my daughter. |
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BBC News: Plane hits Ferris wheel north of Sydney, trapping four. These Muslim extremists are just being silly now. |
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My brother is borderline schizophrenic. Whenever an illegal immigrant crosses it, he goes fucking mental. |
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