• Marc Gatland's Statistics

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 0
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 1013
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 120,324
    • Total Time Active:
    • 1,151 hours, 4 minutes
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Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics have just been generated for you. Aren't we nice?

  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 4,279
    • Live Jokes:
    • 2,204
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 2,075
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 28.12
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 48,410m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 54.59
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 224

Marc Gatland's Jokes

My wife and I auditioned for Britain's Got Talent last month.
Simon said, "What is your act?"
I said, "Magic."
He said, "Okay, so what are you both going to do?"
I said, "We are going to make a child disappear into thin air."
He said, "Have you ever done this before?"
I said, "Yes, once."
He said, "Okay Gerry & Kate, good luck."
I came home from work early today and caught my daughter masturbating with a cucumber.

"That's disgusting" I said, "I'm meant to be eating that tonight, now it's going to taste like salad."