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Mattlittlematt's Profile Information:

I'm a cynical fuck!

Favourite joke i've witnessed; http://www.sickipedia.org/joke/1236699

Mattlittlematt's Statistics

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User Statistics
User Level: User
Contribution Points: 231
Total Joke Score: 233
Total Time Active: 73 hours, 11 minutes
Joke Statistics
Total Jokes Submitted: 218 Live Jokes: 61
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 157 Duplicate Jokes: 11
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 1.07 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 3.82
Average Time Before Deletion: 4,335m
Favourite Subcategory Other > Wordplay (5)

The best of Mattlittlematt's 61 jokes (View All).
1226387
Stephen Hawking; Cheating his way through musical chairs since 1942. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in Celebrities - Stephen Hawking - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 24.4

1100794
After pointing out to me that 'yeah' is 'yeah' upside down...

I gave my girlfriend a black eye, for wasting my time. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in Other - Anagrams - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 20.6

1216201
I replaced my wife with a blow up replica,

You can't argue with that, I thought. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 19.2

1214991
My wife was pissing me off, so I decided to tie her up and gag her mouth,

You can't argue with that. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in Crime - Domestic Violence - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 10.6

1241404
My daughters getting braces tomorrow..

I didn't intend for her legs to collapse. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in Crime - Paedophilia (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 months ago - Current Score: 10.4

1263094
"A cup of tea is a lot more refreshing than a cool bottle of water on a hot summers day!" Promised one of my friends.

"The third degree burns i'm now feeling on my scalp and down my back disagree with you mate" I replied. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in Other - Misunderstanding - Added: 1 month ago - Current Score: 9.8

1250844
Mothers Day must be a very confusing time for children in Thailand. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in Events - Mothers Day - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago - Current Score: 9.8

1199933
Everybody's saying they can't wait for 90210 to start.

Is that not 88,198 years away? 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in TV - Reality TV - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 9.4

1114471
What are the chances? Two poos' in a row where I haven't had to wipe!

Still, probably should have checked though... 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in Other - Stupid - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 8.8

1098089
After watching Kanye Wests' new music video, I couldn't help but think he was only flashing the chains around his neck to compensate for the fact that they weren't around his feet... I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Mattlittlematt in Racism - Black - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 7.6


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