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I went to a restaurant the other day and I noticed that my waitress had a black eye.
I made sure I spoke loud and clear when ordering my food because she obviously had trouble listening.
The wife was telling me that a friend of hers from work gets smacked about a lot by her husband.
Then she told me that, if I ever hit her, I'd only do it the once.
"That's what I love about you," I said.
She said, "What do you mean?"
I replied, "You learn from your mistakes."
I was reading an article about the recent earthquake in Haiti and I found this comment from a member of the public:
"I pray for aids from all over the world to be sent immediately to the people of Haiti"
Do you not think the people from Haiti are suffering enough?
My brothers Halloween costume arrived in the post this morning.
Out of curiosity I had to open it up and take a look at what it was, it consisted of a rooster mask and a giant bag of lolly pops.
He's obviously going as a cock sucker again!
Toddler Needs 200 Stitches After Dog Attack.
That'll teach him to attack a dog.