Philthy's Statistics
Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics were generated 39 minutes ago.
User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 3 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 3,826 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 1 hours, 49 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 15 | Live Jokes: | 10 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 5 | Duplicate Jokes: | 4 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 255.07 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 382.60 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 1,357m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Sex and shit > Girlfriend (2) | |||
All of Philthy's 10 jokes.
|
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits. |
 
|
Joke
submitted by Philthy, originally by Tim Vine in Illness and mortality - Suicide - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 1,019.8
|
Girls: If you get a message from your boyfriend saying that he wants to "kick your puppy", don't call the RSPCA... He's just not very good at predictive text. |
|
|
I did some DIY with my step-ladder the other night. I never really got along with my real ladder. |
|
Joke
submitted by Philthy, originally by Harry Hill in Illness and mortality - Orphan - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 696.2
|
What's got 8 legs and doesn't rape children? The Jackson 4. |
|
Joke
by Philthy in In The News - Celebrity Death - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 500.8
|
Dave comes home from work early one day.
He walks in to the kitchen and sees his wife on her knees, scrubbing the floor. He watches the rhythmic movements of her bum stuck high in the air for a few seconds, before he can't take it any more. Without a word, he lifts up her skirt, slides in and gives her the pounding of her life until they both orgasm loudly. Then he zips himself up, gets to his feet and kicks her up the arse as hard as he can. "What the [...] |
|
|
What's black and white and red all over? An inter-racial couple in a car crash. |
|
Joke
by Philthy in Racism - ??? Other (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 220.2
|
I wanted to try anal sex with my wife. I was going to cook her a nice meal, buy her some flowers, get her a bit tipsy and then seductively suggest it to her. But in the end I just buggered it up. |
|
|
What do you call an Asian with a big cock? Azif. |
|
|
I was leaving work today, about to get in the lift on the top floor of the building to go home, when some cunt in an electric wheelchair comes from nowhere, whips in front of me and fills up the lift, saying he was, "In a hurry". I told him if he was in such a hurry, he should go down the fucking stairs. |
|
Joke
by Philthy in Illness and mortality - Disability - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 26
|
My girlfriend cooked me a meal tonight. "This is Michelin standard food!" I told her. She blushed. I continued "Because it fucking tastes like old tyres." |
|
Joke
by Philthy in Other - Food and Drink (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 19
Page load time: 0.19s (Startup: 0.02s, Controller: 0.11s, Template: 0.05s)
Our hosting is from CCPG Solutions. They are bloody great.
Sickipedia v3.5 - a
cr3ative media
® project. © 2005 - 2012
