• Reject Dog's Statistics

  • I am nothing but a stain on the underwear of the universe.

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 1090
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 4549
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 42,866
    • Total Time Active:
    • 1,720 hours, 23 minutes
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Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics have just been generated for you. Aren't we nice?

  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 5,499
    • Live Jokes:
    • 2,044
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 3,455
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 7.80
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 7,672m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 20.97
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 225

Reject Dog's Jokes

They had to get a translator in at the benefits office today.

Somebody came in speaking English.
A bloke has just got out of a time machine and forced me to suck his cock, I felt degraded and humiliated.

When I get older I am going to build a time machine, go back in time, find this cunt as a kid, and force him to suck my cock.
This Muslim I was working with on a tower scaffolding lost his footing and slipped. I managed to grab his hand as he was dangling 150 feet in the air.

"Please, please," he begged, "don't let me drop!"

"Will you eat my bacon sandwich if I pull you up?" I asked,

"Yes! Yes! Of course I will!" he said.

So I let him go. I'm not having a fucking Muslim steal my breakfast.