RodneyMyers's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 35 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 3,254 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 21 hours, 3 minutes | ||
The best of RodneyMyers's 41 jokes (View All).
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I walked into a florist today and said "I want a bunch of flowers for my wife." The cashier looked at me and said, "What are you after?" I said, "Some sex." |
 
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I took my 12-year-old son camping at the weekend. As we sat around the fire he said, "Dad, I need a shit." "Go and have one then," I said. "That's the beauty of camping, you can shit anywhere you want and you can't get into trouble." He walked off and came back a few minutes later. "Where did you have one?" I asked. He said, "In your car." |
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Joke
by RodneyMyers in Sex and shit - Shit (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago - Current Score: 442.6
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I saw six men taking it in turns to have sex with a woman in the park last night. After they finished she looked at me and said, "Why didn't you bother doing anything?" "Because I've got a girlfriend" I replied, "Besides, you're a bit too slutty for me." |
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I stayed at my girlfriend's dad's house last night. We raided his cupboards for alcohol and ended up getting very drunk and having sex in his bed. My girlfriend thinks I stayed at my grans. |
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Joke
by RodneyMyers in Sex and shit - Gay (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 month, 20 days ago - Current Score: 295.8
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I caught a glimpse of my daughter getting undressed earlier. She looked directly at me and shouted, "Dad, get out!" I said, "Don't worry, I'm not looking." She quickly covered up her tits and said, "Dad! Get out, NOW!!" "Okay," I replied, "But I think I'm stuck so you'll have to lift up the bed." |
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Joke
by RodneyMyers in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago - Current Score: 290.8
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My wife doesn't agree with our son having girlfriends at the age of 12. I'm not surprised to be honest, he's 28. |
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My wife just called the house phone. "I've broken down on the M25, just before junction 6" she panicked. "Just wait there" I said, "I'll be about 10 minutes." After having a shit, I took the receiver off the table and said, "Right, you've done what?" |
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I came home drunk last night and my wife wasn't happy. "How much have you had to drink?" she asked, staring at me. "Nothing" I slurred. "Look at me!" she shouted, "It's either me or the pub, which one is it?" I paused for a second and said, "It's you, I can tell by the voice." |
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I was drunk last night and I ended up going back to some bird's place for sex. When I woke up this morning I wandered into her kitchen and there was a bloke standing there making a cup of tea. "Sorry," I said, "But where's the girl I shagged last night?" "That was me," he smiled. "Fuck off," I said, "I think you'll find that it was definitely me." |
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I saw a bloke get beaten up in a nightclub last night. I walked up to the attacker and said, "What was that for?" "He pinched my girlfriend's arse" he replied. "Ah right" I said, "I would've done the same thing." "Would ya?" he asked. I said, "Yeah, your girlfriend has a great arse." |
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Joke
by RodneyMyers in Sex and shit - ??? General - Added: 3 months, 18 days ago - Current Score: 157.8
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