SilverSprint's Statistics
Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics were generated 34 minutes ago.
User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 347 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 22,141 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 177 hours, 35 minutes | ||
The best of SilverSprint's 426 jokes (View All).
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My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?" I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream." She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?" I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream whilst masturbating?" |
 
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I walked out of a club with a girl last night. She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my cock and said, "Yours or mine?" I said, "That's mine." |
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I've been married to my wife ten years today. Having sex with just one person in ten years is pure dedication. I don't know how she does it. |
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"I can't fucking believe it," I screamed, running into the delivery suite. "The baby has come out black."
"I know," she said, laying in her hospital bed. "You dirty fucking slag!" I shouted." "I'm not having you talk to me like this," she said. "Get out!" "Talk to you like this?" I yelled. "You've been shagging a nigger!" I looked at the [...] |
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I no longer see my wife and kids and it's all because of gambling. I won shitloads of money and moved to Spain. |
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My wife just called me. She said, "The two kids want you to take them Bowling on Saturday, then afterwards they want you to take them to the cinema." "It's either one or the other," I said, "otherwise it's too expensive." "Okay," she replied. "Which one do you prefer?" I said, "David." |
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Joke
by SilverSprint in Other - Family (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 months, 23 days ago - Current Score: 858.4
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Some woman knocked on my door earlier and said that she had lost her dog. She said, "If you help me find it I will let you fuck my fanny all night." I said, "What does it look like?" She said, "It's a big, black, fluffy thing." I said, "No thanks love, I'll give it a miss." |
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I was just viewing a woman's profile on a dating website: Blonde 33 From London Great Personality 5ft 3 Green Eyes. Don't get me wrong, I like short birds, but 3 green eyes? No wonder she can't find a bloke. |
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I asked my new girlfriend how many men she has slept with. She said, "Six. What about you?" I said, "None, I'm straight." |
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My boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped." "Can you do me a favour?" he asked. I said, "Of course, what is it?" He said, "Hurry up and take your shot, I'm behind you on the 7th hole." |
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