Skeptocaemia's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 529 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 118 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 66 hours, 4 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 22 | Live Jokes: | 11 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 11 | Duplicate Jokes: | 0 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 5.36 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 10.73 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 325,182m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Celebrities > Stephen Hawking (1) | |||
The best of Skeptocaemia's 11 jokes (View All).
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Compared to some of the farcical 'elections' held in countries such as Iran and Zimbabwe, we can at least be thankful that in Britain we live in a true democracy, and that our Prime Minister was fairly elected by the British people in a democratic vote. Oh, hang on........................ |
 
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Just got thrown off the organising committee for the local children's chess competition: Apparently, advertising the event as 'KiddiePawn!' is considered 'inappropriate'. |
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Joke
by Skeptocaemia in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 21
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BBC News: OAP loses £24,0000 in lotto scam. Old people: Ever thought that when you're ready to hand over your life savings to someone you've never heard of to claim a 'prize' in a competition you never even entered in the first place, it's maybe just Nature's way of telling you its time for you to just fuck off and die? |
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Joke
by Skeptocaemia in Illness and mortality - Old Age (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 14.6
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BBC News: 'Whitehaven is a small community in shock'. As of tonight, an even smaller community. |
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Joke
by Skeptocaemia in In The News - Shootings - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 11.4
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***Stephen Hawking spoiler*** Stephen Hawking does not die - in the next episode he transfers his brain to a metal exoskeleton thereby achieving immortality: he creates a race of malevolent superbeings intent on galactic domination by means of exterminating all who oppose them. His plans are continually thwarted, however, by a mysterious time traveller known only as 'The Doctor'. |
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Joke
by Skeptocaemia in Celebrities - Stephen Hawking - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 10.2
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Max Mosley is reported to be completely distraught over the suicide of his son, Alexander. Max, if you're reading this: DON'T PUNISH YOURSELF. I can fix you up with a couple of Pro's to do it for you instead - Uniforms, Dungeon, whips,the works. Good price. |
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Muslim Driving School (BBC2 Tues 10pm) I think this is the episode where they show them how to stuff the car full of explosives and petrol, then go hurtling at top speed into the nearest shopping centre or airport terminal chanting: "Ally Akbah!" Multiculturalism: Don'tyerjustloveit? |
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As I was going to St Ives, I met an asylum seeker with seven wives, Each wife had seven kids, Each kid had seven aunts, Each aunt had seven dogs, Wives, Wogs, Sprogs, Dogs, What is their total weekly benefit entitlement? |
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Joke
by Skeptocaemia in Racism - Asylum Seekers (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 5.4
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BBC News: Bangladesh housing blaze kills at least 87 You know its been a bad week when.................... A house fire in your capital city gets a better score than your cricket team. |
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BBC News: Pope defends Vatican WWII record. Fair enough, but be honest, it was never really in the same league as Vera Lynn or Glen Miller was it? |
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