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Skeptocaemia's Statistics

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User Statistics
User Level: User
Contribution Points: 529
Total Joke Score: 118
Total Time Active: 66 hours, 4 minutes
Joke Statistics
Total Jokes Submitted: 22 Live Jokes: 11
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 11 Duplicate Jokes: 0
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 5.36 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 10.73
Average Time Before Deletion: 325,182m
Favourite Subcategory Celebrities > Stephen Hawking (1)

The best of Skeptocaemia's 11 jokes (View All).
145236
Compared to some of the farcical 'elections' held in countries such as Iran and Zimbabwe, we can at least be thankful that in Britain we live in a true democracy, and that our Prime Minister was fairly elected by the British people in a democratic vote.
Oh, hang on........................
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in In The News - Iran - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 37.4

326017
Just got thrown off the organising committee for the local children's chess competition:

Apparently, advertising the event as 'KiddiePawn!' is considered 'inappropriate'.
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 21

316540
BBC News: OAP loses £24,0000 in lotto scam.

Old people: Ever thought that when you're ready to hand over your life savings to someone you've never heard of to claim a 'prize' in a competition you never even entered in the first place, it's maybe just Nature's way of telling you its time for you to just fuck off and die?
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in Illness and mortality - Old Age (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 14.6

458913
BBC News: 'Whitehaven is a small community in shock'.
As of tonight, an even smaller community.
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in In The News - Shootings - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 11.4

114719
***Stephen Hawking spoiler***

Stephen Hawking does not die - in the next episode he transfers his brain to a metal exoskeleton thereby achieving immortality: he creates a race of malevolent superbeings intent on galactic domination by means of exterminating all who oppose them. His plans are continually thwarted, however, by a mysterious time traveller known only as 'The Doctor'.
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in Celebrities - Stephen Hawking - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 10.2

122501
Max Mosley is reported to be completely distraught over the suicide of his son, Alexander.
Max, if you're reading this: DON'T PUNISH YOURSELF. I can fix you up with a couple of Pro's to do it for you instead - Uniforms, Dungeon, whips,the works. Good price.
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in Celebrities - Max Mosley - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 7

317794
Muslim Driving School (BBC2 Tues 10pm)

I think this is the episode where they show them how to stuff the car full of explosives and petrol, then go hurtling at top speed into the nearest shopping centre or airport terminal chanting: "Ally Akbah!"

Multiculturalism: Don'tyerjustloveit?
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in Racism - Muslim - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 6

316709
As I was going to St Ives,
I met an asylum seeker with seven wives,
Each wife had seven kids,
Each kid had seven aunts,
Each aunt had seven dogs,
Wives, Wogs, Sprogs, Dogs,
What is their total weekly benefit entitlement?
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in Racism - Asylum Seekers (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 5.4

460851
BBC News: Bangladesh housing blaze kills at least 87

You know its been a bad week when....................
A house fire in your capital city gets a better score than your cricket team.
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in Racism - Asian - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 4.4

316654
BBC News: Pope defends Vatican WWII record.

Fair enough, but be honest, it was never really in the same league as Vera Lynn or Glen Miller was it?
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Joke by Skeptocaemia in Religion - Pope - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 2.2


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