The crossbow cannibal's Profile Information:
Hello, Hello, what's all this shouting? We'll have no trouble here...
The crossbow cannibal's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 27 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 18,402 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 349 hours, 8 minutes | ||
The best of The crossbow cannibal's 496 jokes (View All).
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I'm hosting an African-themed party tonight. There's no food and the drinks are twelve miles away. |
 
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I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night. "You're a big lass, aren't you?" I said. "Tell me something I don't know," she replied with a tear in her eye. "Salad tastes nice." |
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Joke
by The crossbow cannibal in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,434.2
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My girlfriend dumped me saying I don't live up to her black ex-boyfriend. "When you can do what a black man can do, get back in touch," she laughed. So after three months of trying, I've sent her a video of me peeling a banana with my feet. I await her apology... |
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This guy from over the road was talking to me earlier. "My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the milkman," he confided. "What? That fat ugly fucker I see every morning outside your house?" "Yes," he laughed, cheering up. "Why would Dave the milkman want to shag that?" |
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Joke
by The crossbow cannibal in Other - Misunderstanding - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 1,141.4
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If anyone ever tells you they've lost their voice, They're lying. |
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Sky News: 'Hi-Tech Gang Swipes £6m From Online Savers' Maybe they can afford some decent trainers now. |
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The trapped miners have been told to sing and play games to keep busy. Call me pedantic, but can't they just do some mining? |
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Joke
by The crossbow cannibal in In The News - Mining - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 515.4
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"007, listen carefully, I have some fantastic Hi-Tech trainers for you." "OK, what do they do?" "Erm nothing, but they were cheap." |
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"Hello this is the bloodbank, how can I help?" "I'd like to book an appointment for myself, my wife and my daughter, please" "Okay sir, just a couple of questions: have you ever had anal sex?" "Why? Can't you give blood if you've had anal sex?" "No sir." "I'd like to book an appointment for my wife, please..." |
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Joke
by The crossbow cannibal in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 377.4
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I overheard a lady ordering in McDonald's. "That's an interesting accent," I said. "Oh, I'm from South Africa," she replied. "I bet you get that all the time, don't you?" "Not really, I've been living here for a few years." "I was actually referring to your large Big Mac meal, you fat bitch." |
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Joke
by The crossbow cannibal in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 368.4
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