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TheRizzler's Profile Information:

My best friend is a pair of brown trousers called Dave who lives under my bed and only comes out at night.




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TheRizzler's Statistics

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User Statistics
User Level: User
Contribution Points: 9799
Total Joke Score: 41,561
Total Time Active: 2,726 hours, 18 minutes
Joke Statistics
Total Jokes Submitted: 4,270 Live Jokes: 1,036
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 3,234 Duplicate Jokes: 166
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 9.73 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 40.12
Average Time Before Deletion: 123,934m
Favourite Subcategory Other > Wordplay (156)

The best of TheRizzler's 1,036 jokes (View All).
1013269
"Dad, how do you feel about abortions?"

"Well, why don't you ask your sister?"

"But I don't have a..." 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in Sex and shit - Abortion - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 2,170

757528
Lady Gaga has announced that she is to be dropping Facebook for charity.

She should also think about dropping her knickers, for clarity. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in Celebrities - Lady Gaga (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,916

913175
My mates call me gay because I can't stay on a skateboard for longer than a minute.

I'd like to see them try it with high heels on. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in Sex and shit - Gay - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 957

864082
I was trying to find a way to kill my wife without raising suspicion.

So I bought her a car. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in Crime - Murder (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 798.6

869243
My wife's a bit like Pinocchio.

Every time she tells me lies, her nose swells up. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in Crime - Domestic Violence - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 707.4

830203
I asked a few kids if they could push the back of my car to help get it started and they agreed.

Who needs sweets when you can use super glue? 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in Sex and shit - Paedophile (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 705.6

703665
Liverpool have made a bid for Rooney after he said he wanted to play in a different league next season. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in Celebrities - Footballers - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 688.8

999061
The camera on my new mobile phone is brilliant. It even works under water.

"That's great, Uncle Nigel, but can I finish my bath now please?" 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in Sex and shit - Pervert - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 673

1102831
I was serving this smug cunt in a suit in Burger King when he asked, "So, do you enjoy your job then?"

"Yeah, it's ok," I replied.

He said, "I'm designing a robot that, in years to come, will take your place."

"Yeah? Good luck teaching it how to spit," I said, handing over his burger. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in Other - Food and Drink - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 666.2

1126560
I just can't seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently.


English and Klingon. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by TheRizzler in TV - Sci Fi - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 612.4


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