• Toffeewaffle's Statistics

  • It might not be big, but it's always busy..

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 0
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 815
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 7,960
    • Total Time Active:
    • 484 hours, 52 minutes
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Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics have just been generated for you. Aren't we nice?

  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 1,125
    • Live Jokes:
    • 551
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 574
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 7.08
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 29,383m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 14.45
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 99

Toffeewaffle's Jokes

I was out on a first date when I saw a couple of lads from my football team:

"Alright skipper?" they said, as they walked past.

"Mmmm, I love a man with power..." Purred my date, "especially the captain of a team."

"I'm not the captain" I explained, "I've just got a really gay run."
I fucked this woman last night and finished all over her face:

"You dirty bastard" she moaned, "you could have given me some warning."

"Sorry love, I'm a bus driver" I said. "I don't give any indication when I'm pulling out."
I was in Tesco recently, when I bumped into this woman I'd started dating:

"Oi, you told me you were in the Red Arrows" she said.

"No I didn't" I said, arranging the washing powder, "I told you I was in the Ariel display team."