captain chaos's Profile Information:
If life throw's you lemon's...
Throw rock's back
Throw rock's back
captain chaos's Statistics
Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics have just been generated for you. Aren't we nice?
User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 394 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 8,232 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 313 hours, 30 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 921 | Live Jokes: | 327 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 594 | Duplicate Jokes: | 90 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 8.94 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 25.17 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 33,788m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Other > ??? Random (81) | |||
The best of captain chaos's 327 jokes (View All).
|
I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth fairy etc. Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that shit anymore, thank God. |
 
|
|
As I sat down to eat my dinner today, that Unicef ad came on the Tv. Apparently there are 7 million children ill, starving or dying. I looked down at my plate of Steak, chips, mushrooms and fried onions, I felt a sickness in my stomach... I can't stand onions! |
|
Joke
by captain chaos in Other - Food and Drink (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago - Current Score: 635.4
|
I heard that Stephen Hawking is totally against racism. Makes sense really, no-one is more PC than him. |
|
|
The Sun headline: Air strike planned Well I hope it doesn't last long, I can't hold my breath for more than 20 seconds. |
|
|
Wanted: Security guard to work one night shift, every six months. Excellent pay Location: Antarctica Hours per shift: 4,032 |
|
|
I was asked to organise a reunion for landmine victims. Only half of them turned up. |
|
|
I went to Cash Converters today trying to raise a bit of much needed cash. I got a great deal, they gave me £955 and they never even took my gun. |
|
|
BBC News: Non-emergency number 111 activated. Non-emergency? Why would you need to ring someone.... "Hello, is this the non-emergency centre?" "Yes it is." "Good, just to let you know everything is fine." |
|
Joke
by captain chaos in In The News - Headlines - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 233.8
|
My wife phoned me today. "I can't believe it just cost me £75 to fill up but last week it only cost £60!" she ranted. "Well," I replied, "the portions in McDonald's must be getting smaller." |
|
|
I don't see racism as a life choice, but as a disease. A disease brought over by those fucking niggers from Africa. |
|
Page load time: 0.29s (Startup: 0.02s, Controller: 0.11s, Template: 0.16s)
Our hosting is from CCPG Solutions. They are bloody great.
Sickipedia v3.5 - a
cr3ative media
® project. © 2005 - 2012
