city hobgoblin's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 651 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 16,293 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 483 hours, 2 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 1,805 | Live Jokes: | 748 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 1,057 | Duplicate Jokes: | 111 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 9.03 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 21.78 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 34,625m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Celebrities > Footballers (45) | |||
The best of city hobgoblin's 748 jokes (View All).
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America's policy of shooting first and asking questions later has always been their downfall. I mean, just think how useful King Kong could have been on September the 11th. |
 
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I'm so homophobic, I devised a way of wanking without touching my own knob. My mate Dave does it for me. |
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I was doing a spot of gardening yesterday when I noticed some of my flowers had died. As a mark of respect, I went out and tied a member of my family to a lamppost. |
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I was lying naked on the bed yesterday when my son walked in. "Daddy", he said, "what's that huge, fleshy thing between your legs"? "Oh, that?" I replied... "That, son, is your mother." |
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Joke
by city hobgoblin in Illness and mortality - Obesity (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 462.2
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I spotted a black person yesterday. They look like a dalmatian now. |
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In an equal opportunities seminar at work today, I was asked where I stood on racism. Apparently, "with the whites" was not an appropriate response. |
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What's black and fills in Jobseekers' Allowance forms? A pen. |
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Why are hurricanes and cyclones always given non threatening names, like Wilma and George? Surely, 'hurricane run like fuck' or 'cyclone bastard' would be more appropriate? |
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I went fishing at the weekend and there was this bloke splashing about in the middle of the lake shouting, "I can't swim! I can't swim!" "It's alright, mate," I shouted, pointing at a nearby sign, "It says no swimming anyway". |
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Joke
by city hobgoblin in Illness and mortality - Accidents - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 338.8
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News: "Ash cloud may delay Polish president's funeral". If it had occurred a week earlier it would have delayed his death. |
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