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98 years ago today, the Germans & British troops brought a temporary ceasefire to the Great War and had a game of football out on no-man's land.
The fighting resumed when somebody was killed after being hit on the head with the football.
I was on the phone to my local house decorators earlier.
"I'd like my bedroom wall painted sometime this week." I said.
"Certainly sir," said the operator, "We'll send someone over, which colour by the way?"
"Preferably white," I replied, "I'm not too keen on a black person inside my house."
England lose on penalties.
For more on our culture and traditions, please go to visitengland.com.
I was about to pull out of a parking space when I asked my wife, "Are there any cars approaching?"
"No," she said, looking out of the passenger window.
As I manoeuvred onto the road she added, "Just a lorry."
As the nurse delivered our baby, I told my wife:
"Wow, she's absolutely stunning."
My wife looked confused as she held the newborn baby in her arms.
She said, "Dave, it's a he, not a she..."
I replied, "what do you mean? Have you seen the tits on that nurse?"