| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 16 | Total Joke Score: | 1,953 |
| Country: |
United kingdom 
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Total Time Active: | 3 hours, 11 minutes |
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 101 | Live Jokes: | 49 |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 52 | Duplicate Jokes: | 15 |
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The best of df's 49 jokes (View All)
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I went to Waterstones today to get a book about conspiracies. There were none there. Coincidence? |
 
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I've had to take a second job working in a bakery. I knead the dough. |
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I was watching a porno last night and fell asleep on the sofa, cock in hand. That's the last time my sister in law will ask me to baby sit. |
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Joke by df in Sex and shit - Pornography - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
- Current Score: 138.4
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I went to an Indian restaurant last night. I asked for the House Speciality. Fuckers stole my jacket, cloned my credit card and I've had the shits all night. |
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I've been advised to stop eating fish, on medical grounds. Apparently I'm putting off the others in the waiting room. |
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Joke by df in Other - Food and Drink - Added: 5 months ago
- Current Score: 46
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My wife used to think that FHM and Maxim were pornography. But then she found my real stash. |
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Joke by df in Sex and shit - Pornography - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
- Current Score: 43
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Just because we are part of the EU, it shouldn't mean we have to follow all their rules. If we give them 2.54 cm. they'll take 1.6093 km. |
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Joke by df in Politics - Government - Added: 5 months ago
- Current Score: 42.2
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I'm doing a PhD at Cambridge. It's a long way to go but at least my wife won't catch us. |
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Joke by df in Sex and shit - Sex - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
- Current Score: 39
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The government have announced new anti-terror laws that will ban trainspotting. I don't think this will stop them. If anything, it will just force them underground. |
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It's funny how having a baby can change some women. My wife used to be quite attractive. |
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Joke by df in Sex and shit - Pregnancy - Added: 5 months ago
- Current Score: 33.2
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