- This Month's Leaderboard Points:
- Total Contribution Points:
- Total Time Active:
- 325 hours, 53 minutes
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- Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
11.34: Arrived at crime scene
11.34: Examined body. Signs of a struggle
11.34: Found murder weapon in drain
11.34: Realised watch was broken
"Is that all you've got?" my new girlfriend complained. "I only feel half-fucked."
"No love, you're completely fucked," I replied. "I've got HIV."
There's blatant cheating going on in the London Marathon.
The bloke in 6th place is on a fucking motorbike!
"Don't give the baby a paper clip!" the wife shouted at me. "He'll swallow it!"
"It's OK, I've got hundreds," I retorted.
I was talking to our neighbour's 10 year old Down's kid.
"What do you like doing, Gavin?"
"I like doing women," he replied.
A bit shocked I asked him, "And where do you do your women?"
"At the 'wimmin pool."