fatfran's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 72 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 213 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 25 hours, 33 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 68 | Live Jokes: | 21 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 47 | Duplicate Jokes: | 12 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 3.13 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 10.14 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 41,195m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Celebrities > Footballers (2) | |||
The best of fatfran's 21 jokes (View All).
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Emile Heskey comes home one evening, his shirt absolutely drenched. As he gets into his house, his wife says, "Emile, are you drunk?" "No I'm not..." She isn't convinced by this, "Then why is your top wet and there's a strong smell of alcohol on you?" He replies, "I took a load of shots tonight, but I kept missing!" |
 
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BBC News - Man Utd & England star Rio Ferdinand makes appeal for information on shooting Ashley Cole was unavailable for comment |
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Apparently I can't call it 'black and white TV' anymore. I have to be politically correct and refer to it as 'Eastenders' |
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BBC News: Bin Laden killed by US forces after firefight Although US forces haven't been able to get close enough to verify his identity, let's be honest, with a tea towel around his head and a big bushy beard, who else could it possibly be? |
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Joke
by fatfran in In The News - Terrorism (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 8.2
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So apparently statistics show that most Americans can't even name two continents. I'm American and I found that very offensive and quite frankly ridiculous. I mean, F....P.....W....R....that's just four, I can name plenty more.... |
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I was just sat down, relaxing in the sun, when I saw a couple of teenage girls chasing a ball. To be honest I thought it was pretty hot so I thought I'd have a cheeky wank. I thought I could do it on the sly and no one would notice, but I got interrupted by some guy on a loudspeaker saying "Second set, Nadal to serve" and I had to get up and play tennis |
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Yesterday, I was at work when I clocked this really hot bird from across the room. I felt a bit bad though because it wasn't my clock, and it looked quite expensive. |
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Last week, I took my girlfriend to this lovely little place run by Italians. It's called Italy. |
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And there I was, ordering a chicken and some vegetables, when I thought to myself: "They blatently aren't going to do what I've asked them to do, are they?" |
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I was on a website and saw an advert that said "Lose weight in 4 weeks by following one simple rule". I thought I'd check it out, so I clicked on the link and it said RULE 1: Do some fucking exercise, you lazy, fat cunt. Can't argue with that. |
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Joke
by fatfran in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 5.2
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