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Emile Heskey comes home one evening, his shirt absolutely drenched.
As he gets into his house, his wife says, "Emile, are you drunk?"
"No I'm not..."
She isn't convinced by this, "Then why is your top wet and there's a strong smell of alcohol on you?"
He replies, "I took a load of shots tonight, but I kept missing!"
BBC News - Man Utd & England star Rio Ferdinand makes appeal for information on shooting
Ashley Cole was unavailable for comment
Apparently I can't call it 'black and white TV' anymore.
I have to be politically correct and refer to it as 'Eastenders'
BBC News: Bin Laden killed by US forces after firefight
Although US forces haven't been able to get close enough to verify his identity, let's be honest, with a tea towel around his head and a big bushy beard, who else could it possibly be?
So apparently statistics show that most Americans can't even name two continents.
I'm American and I found that very offensive and quite frankly ridiculous.
I mean, F....P.....W....R....that's just four, I can name plenty more....