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gazzytee's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 149 Total Joke Score: 6,717
Country: United kingdom GB Total Time Active: 162 hours, 57 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 490 Live Jokes: 142
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 348 Duplicate Jokes: 35


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The best of gazzytee's 142 jokes (View All)
I bought my girlfriend the Josef Fritzl advent calendar.

Every time she tries to open a door, I close it and rape her. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Celebrities - Josef Fritzl - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 848.4

My Mum always hides bad news from me. I only just found out about the death of Princess Diana.

Oh well. Seeing Michael Jackson at the O2 tonight should cheer me up. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Celebrities - Michael Jackson - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 814.6

I have fond memories of playing kiss chase at school.

As a teacher I was always faster and stronger than the kids. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 472.4

Me and a dyslexic sitting in a tree.

K. I. F. D. R.V. P 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Illness and mortality - Dyslexia - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 345.6

I'm amazing at sex.

I was fucking a girl in Haiti, and she said 'it was like the ground moved'.

I'm only joking. She didn't say anything. She was dead. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in In The News - Haiti Earthquake - Added: 2 months ago - Current Score: 330.8

What’s the quickest way to get into a girl’s knickers?

Put your legs through the holes. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Sex and shit - Sex - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 330.6

The Haiti disaster is a bit like my Tamagotchi.

It kept my attention for a week, but I've got better things to do than try and keep them alive. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in In The News - Haiti Earthquake - Added: 4 weeks ago - Current Score: 294

I was on holiday recently. I was sat on a rock when it started talking to me.

'Help me, please help me'. It scared the shit out of me, and I kept on jumping on it until it stopped speaking.

I am never going back to Haiti. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in In The News - Haiti Earthquake - Added: 4 days ago - Current Score: 238.2

I saw down a side alley a load of epileptics gathered in a circle, watching two others shaking in the middle together.

I asked one of them, 'What the hell is going on?'

He said, 'First rule of fit club is, you do not talk about fit club' 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Illness and mortality - Epilepsy - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 212

What's the best thing about being raped?

The cup of tea, and the lift home from the police. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Crime - Rape - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 208

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