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gazzytee's Statistics

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User Statistics
User Level: User
Contribution Points: 1194
Total Joke Score: 25,874
Total Time Active: 671 hours, 35 minutes
Joke Statistics
Total Jokes Submitted: 1,754 Live Jokes: 664
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 1,090 Duplicate Jokes: 148
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 14.75 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 38.97
Average Time Before Deletion: 12,634m
Favourite Subcategory Other > Stupid (52)

The best of gazzytee's 664 jokes (View All).
1148205
What bounces and makes kids cry?

My donation cheque to Children in Need. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Other - Charity - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,304.2

291340
I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar.

Every time she tries to open a door, I close it and rape her. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in In The News - Trials - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,002.6

1096424
I was at the doctor's the other day having a prostate examination when he said, "Oh my God!"

"What is it, Doctor?" I asked, mildly shitting myself.

"You've mildly shat yourself," he replied. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Sex and shit - Shit - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 920.2

234279
My Mum always hides bad news from me. I only just found out about the death of Princess Diana.

Oh well. Seeing Michael Jackson at the O2 tonight should cheer me up. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in In The News - Celebrity Death - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 896.6

1272965
My wife fell asleep on the sofa. Feeling a little naughty, I took a marker pen and wrote 'World's Worst Mum' on her forehead.

The next morning when she looked in the mirror she went mental.

I had no idea that having a miscarriage affects your sense of humour. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Illness and mortality - Miscarriage - Added: 3 weeks ago - Current Score: 802.2

1119840
The government have advised people to watch out that they're not being sold fake 2012 Olympic tickets.

I think I'll be alright though. My tickets for the men's wheelchair triple jump seem genuine enough. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Sports - Olympics (+ 1 more) - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 709.6

1216268
I'm so proud of my African pen friend.

He tells me he hasn't had a drink in weeks. Hang on in there mate. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Other - Misunderstanding - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 670

336618
I've fostered a couple of kids.

If people want to do the same, go to your local off licence, buy a four pack, and then smash it round their heads. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Crime - Child Abuse - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 525

253313
I have fond memories of playing kiss chase at school.

As a teacher I was always faster and stronger than the kids. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 510.6

164627
Me and a dyslexic sitting in a tree.

K. I. F. D. R.V. P 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by gazzytee in Illness and mortality - Dyslexia - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 443.8


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