• illegalnature's Statistics

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 0
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 48
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 77,412
    • Total Time Active:
    • 1,500 hours, 7 minutes
  • Favorite
  • Message

Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics have just been generated for you. Aren't we nice?

  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 4,395
    • Live Jokes:
    • 1,429
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 2,966
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 17.61
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 28,378m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 54.17
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 278

illegalnature's Jokes

Yesterday, I told my workmate a joke about rape and he said, "Mate, if you think making jokes about rape is funny then you're wrong. My wife got raped and trust me, it's not funny."

Feeling slightly ashamed, I said, "Sorry. When did this happen?"

"Last week," he replied.

I paused for a moment.

"Behind the bus station?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Er... no reason."
Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens.

Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.
As I sat in the living room my five year old shouted at me from the back door.

"I can't hear you if you're shouting from outside." I said.

Again, he shouted back.

"I told you, I can't hear you from there. It's rude to shout. If you want me to hear you, walk into the living room." I replied.

A few moments later my son appeared in the living room.

"Dad, I've got dog shit all over my shoes."