jimmycunt's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 156 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 1,985 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 26 hours, 56 minutes | ||
The best of jimmycunt's 35 jokes (View All).
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I've always been told it's not rape if you yell surprise first. You can imagine the terror I felt as I walked into my first surprise party. |
 
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Got a tattoo of a digital watch on my wrist. I regretted it literally one minute later. |
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Joke
submitted by jimmycunt, originally by twitter.com/saspreston in Other - Stupid - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 534
| My doctor told me to quit my helium addiction before I got carried away. |
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Son: Are ghosts real? Dad: Of course not. Son: But the maid said they are. Dad: Son pack your bags....we don't have a maid |
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Due to copyright law, Tigger from Winnie the Pooh will have a more politically correct name. Tegro. |
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What do you call a robot that travels the galaxy and rapes children? C3-Paedo |
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I told the monster in my closet that if he ever came out, that would make him gay. That takes care of that. |
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They say there's a hormone released that makes men sleepy after sex. Personally I think It's carrying the body and digging the grave that makes me tired. |
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I blame everyone else for my mistakes. Except Shaggy, we all know it wasn't him |
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I was talking to someone the other day when I asked them their profession. I was shocked by their reply. 'I get paid to suck cock and take it up the arse.' 'Oh so you're a pornstar? Or a prostitute?' 'Neither, I'm deputy Prime minister.' |
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