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|This month's Leaderboard points:||0|
|Total Joke Score:||412|
|Total Time Active:||25 hours, 17 minutes|
|Yes, the label on your van says "No tools left overnight" but the two England flags on the doors say "We have a copy of Nuts, Zoo and the Daily Star in the glovebox"|
|So there's another royal baby on the way - don't they realise we can't afford another mouth to feed?|
|After seeing the line-up on "Celebrity Come Dine With Me", I may wait for Celebrity "Celebrity Come Dine With Me".|
Our work toilet has an air freshener boasting a "clean linen" fragrance.
To be honest, it makes the place smell like someone shit the bed.