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|This month's Leaderboard points:||55|
|Total Joke Score:||8,019|
|Total Time Active:||708 hours, 49 minutes|
Luis Suarez has apologised for not shaking hands with Evra.
"I didn't realise it was him," he said. "They all look the fucking same."
South African police have installed state of the art technology outside the bail address of Oscar Pistorius to ensure he doesn't leave.
A cattle grid.
An American limps into a bar and finds a seat.
"What's up with you?" asks the barman.
The Yank pulls up his trouser leg and shows an impressive scar.
"I got that for nothing in Vietnam, August 1967."
"That's fuck all," says the barman, "see that 50" plasma on the wall? I got that for nothing too, Tottenham August 2011."
As things have escalated between North and South Korea, the Americans have revealed their secret weapon.