monkeysanchez88's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 0 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 1,019 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 2 hours, 10 minutes | ||
All of monkeysanchez88's 8 jokes.
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At our office party, a coloured girl came over to me and said, "I've got a 'thing' for white men." I told her I had a 'thing' for black women: it's called slavery. |
 
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Shilpa Shetty has been invited to attend the funeral of Jade Goody. Well, it'll keep the flies off the corpse, won't it? |
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Joke
by monkeysanchez88 in In The News - Celebrity Death - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 264.6
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I see Scarlett Johanson is selling a used tissue on ebay. She sneezed in it, now someone has bid £1500 for it. When I sent her a tissue containing my spunk, all I got was a fucking injunction!! One rule for the rich.... Well, the jokes on you, Scarlett. I was thinking of Miley Cyrus while knocking it out. |
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For the past week I've passed a young girl on my way to work, she sits under the bridge, asking for spare change. I got talking to her, turns out she's Polish. She told me how her family were forced out of their homes, had to live in the forests and hide from soldiers. She was forced to watch as her sisters and mother were abused by the soldiers, her brothers were either shot or taken away to labour camps.
Her grasp of the English language wasn't great. Her grasp o [...] |
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Joke
by monkeysanchez88 in Racism - Immigrant (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 126
| Statistically, two out of three little pigs will use inferior building materials to construct their houses. |
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| I love pancake day. It's the only day of the year I can tell the office I'm going home for a toss, and no-one bats an eyelid. |
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Joke
by monkeysanchez88 in Events - Pancake Day - Added: 4 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 21.8
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I was on here reading the jokes, and I suddenly thought to myself "Does it make me a racist?" But then I thought, well as long as no rag-head, coon or yank catches me reading it, what does it fucking matter! |
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We are always being told that "it's the thought that counts". What a complete load of bollox. At my recent trial, I used the defence that " I thought about not raping those 15 women", but the judge wasn't having any of it, the cunt. |
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