• oor wullie's Statistics

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 0
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 517
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 6,364
    • Total Time Active:
    • 460 hours, 1 minutes
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  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 800
    • Live Jokes:
    • 335
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 465
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 7.96
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 26,754m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 19.00
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 23

oor wullie's Jokes

My wife went fucking mental earlier when I called her a big fat rhino.
She was screaming and shouting at me, calling me every name under the sun and threatening to beat the fuck out of me.
I just stood there, frozen to the spot.

The safest thing to do, as her vision's based mainly on movement.
I walked in from work this evening to find my slag of a wife lying on the couch, naked, with her legs in the air, sliding a coat hanger in and out of her pussy.

"Oh for fuck's sake, you whore!" I said. "Have some fucking dignity about yourself and at least use a fucking dildo or something."

"Oh piss off, Dave," she snapped. "What do you think I'm looking for?"
I ordered a sex-toy off the internet, a custom made scale replica of my wife's vagina.
On the day it was due to be delivered I sat anxiously at my window, waiting for my postman. After what felt like forever, he came struggling down my path with a big tatty box in his hands, all dented and the flaps torn, blowing around in the breeze.

I thought they would've at least fucking wrapped it.