• oor wullie's Statistics

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 0
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 441
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 5,117
    • Total Time Active:
    • 416 hours, 32 minutes
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  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 704
    • Live Jokes:
    • 306
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 398
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 7.27
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 21,813m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 16.72
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 21

oor wullie's Jokes

My wife went fucking mental earlier when I called her a big fat rhino.
She was screaming and shouting at me, calling me every name under the sun and threatening to beat the fuck out of me.
I just stood there, frozen to the spot.

The safest thing to do, as her vision's based mainly on movement.
I ordered a sex-toy off the internet, a custom made scale replica of my wife's vagina.
On the day it was due to be delivered I sat anxiously at my window, waiting for my postman. After what felt like forever, he came struggling down my path with a big tatty box in his hands, all dented and the flaps torn, blowing around in the breeze.

I thought they would've at least fucking wrapped it.
That's three Christmas Eves in a row now, that The Grinch has been on.

Once again, I've got to make do with one of her fucking hand jobs.