• pdf1's Statistics

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 0
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 205
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 19,350
    • Total Time Active:
    • 1 hours, 33 minutes
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  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 50
    • Live Jokes:
    • 44
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 6
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 387.00
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 0m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 439.77
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 6

pdf1's Jokes

A drug addict, a paedophile and a sadist are talking about what kind of women they like. The druggie says, "I like my women like I like my whisky: twenty years old and mixed up with coke."

"I like my women like I like my soda: a few months old and flat as hell," says the paedophile.

"Well," says the sadist, "I like my women like I like my wine: one hundred years old and locked up in a cellar."
Little Johnny was in his maths lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention.
"If I gave you £20," she began, "and you gave £5 to Mary, £5 to Sally and £5 to Susan, what would you have?"
Johnny thought about this and then answered, "An orgy?"
There's an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all talking about their teenage daughters.The Englishman says, "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smoked."
The Scotsman says, "that's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank."
With that the Irishman says, "both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a cock."
A salesman knocks at the door of a home and it's answered by a twelve-year-old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half-empty bottle of scotch in the other.

The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse me, son, but is your mum or dad in?"

To which the boy replies, "Does it fucking look like it?"