• shk's Statistics

  • you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action...MAKe It SHINe

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 0
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 296
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 452
    • Total Time Active:
    • 115 hours, 9 minutes
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  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 169
    • Live Jokes:
    • 30
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 139
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 2.67
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 20,939m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 15.07
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 3

shk's Jokes

I sent a text to my wife last night, "Hi babe I'm at the pub with some lads, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favourite dish before I return."

I sent another text, "Babe I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"

She text back,"Omg really?"

I replied, "No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message."
As I left the pub last night this black guy ran after me immediately.
''You forgot your phone on the table mate'' he said, handing back the phone to me.

Strange, but I graciously took back my Nokia 3310.
I got chatting to a Nigerian prostitute on a dating site.

We were getting really flirty when she purred, ''I feel like sucking you dry.''

I said, "If you think I'll give you my bank details you've got another thing coming."