skapleman's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 3 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 1,775 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 3 hours, 13 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 96 | Live Jokes: | 34 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 62 | Duplicate Jokes: | 9 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 18.49 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 52.21 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 0m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Sex and shit > Masturbation (2) | |||
The best of skapleman's 34 jokes (View All).
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Apparently a pub in London got in touch a few days ago asking Sickipedia if they wanted to do a Sickipedia stand-up comedy night. I don't know about you but that sounds like a police-sting to me. |
 
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I went to a fancy dress party the other day dressed as Adolf Hitler. Everyone thought it was hilarious. Until they found three dead Jews in the cloakroom. |
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Kelis told me her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and she would teach me but she would have to charge. Despite an altogether extortionate cost, the amount of little boys I was able to rape made it a sound investment. |
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I was watching ‘Crimefighters’ last night on ITV when two undercover police officers got told over the radio there was a burglary occurring. Luckily it was ‘around the corner’.
Nevertheless the muppets decide to put the sirens on full blast. They arrive at the house and soon realise the burglars have gone, taking the widescreen TV in the process. At this point one of them, with an air of superiority, profoundly points out ‘they must have just left cos they hea [...] |
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"An Afghan bill allowing a husband to starve his wife if she refuses to have sex has been published and become law." I didn't realise Carlsberg did laws.... |
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Apparently scientists find it extremely difficult to search for Blue Whales despite the fact they are biggest mammals in the sea. However, when it comes to finding the largest mammals on land they know exactly where to look. America. |
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I really agree with the statement made by Robbie Keane before Saturday's derby game that Tottenham have a stronger bench than Arsenal. It has to be to support fat fuckers like Tom Huddlestone. |
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I went for skills rather than looks when I picked my new dog I got an ex-police drug-sniffer dog. I'll tell you what, he comes in handy at parties. |
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My wife and I went to the adoption agency the other day. Apparently 'which one has the tightest arsehole' isn't a suitable question. |
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| You know someone is a fucking idiot when their death sparks hundreds of jokes on sickipedia. |
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Joke
by skapleman in Illness and mortality - Suicide (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 37.2
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