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|This month's Leaderboard points:||115|
|Total Joke Score:||68,296|
|Total Time Active:||3,632 hours, 35 minutes|
Why did my wife cross the road?
To get back to the first shoe shop we went in three fucking hours ago.
My new neighbour popped his head over the fence today and said, "What's going down, brother?"
I said, "The value of my house since you moved in you black bastard."
My son said, "Dad, can I ask you a question?"
I said, "Of course you can."
"It's a bit awkward..." he began.
I said, "No problem, fire away."
"Why have you got your cock in the hoover?"
I looked out the window and it was pissing down.
I thought, "Fuck it, I'm not going out in that, I'll pick the kids up from school tomorrow."
I said to my son, "Where you going?"
He said, "I'm off to meet a girl."
I said, "Don't forget to wear a... you know."
He said, "What?"
I said, "You know."
He said, "Do you mean a condom?"
I said, "No, a fucking hat you ginger cunt."