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subtle_mocking's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 24 Total Joke Score: 3,178
Country: United kingdom GB Total Time Active: 39 hours, 53 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 126 Live Jokes: 52
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 74 Duplicate Jokes: 11


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The best of subtle_mocking's 52 jokes (View All)
This Friday at 9pm on Channel 4, Derren Brown is supposedly performing a mind control exercise that will keep the nation glued to their seats for the duration of the programme.

Just for a laugh, I'm going to put my chip pan on at about 8:59 and then leave it for an hour.

Derren, if you're reading this, you better have some bloody good lawyers. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking which requires categorising - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 760.8

If I had a pound for every animal I'd molested...

...I'd be much more inclined to molest animals. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking which requires categorising - Added: 2 months ago - Current Score: 633.2

Statistically, 13 out of 13 triskaidekaphobics will be scared of this joke. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking in Other - ??? General - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 414.2

It's a shame that Jade Goody is going to die not long from now.

She'll be in Sickipedia Heaven soon, with Francesca Anobile, Harold Shipman, Princess Di, Heath Ledger and Wendy Richard, riding the sledge downhill to the biggest library-based gang-rape in the World. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking in Celebrities - Jade Goody - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 265.6

I actually really want Jade Goody to survive as long as possible.

Not because I like her, just because I can't stand library jokes. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking in Celebrities - Jade Goody - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 159.2

Freeview requires retuning on the 2nd of December so that you can still receive channel 5.

Pass this on to any Liverpool fans who want to see their team play in Europe after Christmas. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking which requires categorising - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 159

What do pressing the F5 key and rape have in common?

Even though you’re being told to stop, its hard to resist. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking in Crime - Rape - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 104

Natasha Richardson has died after falling on a beginner's slope at a ski resort.

It's not all bad news, Liam Neeson got £250 off You've Been Framed for the video. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking in Celebrities - Natasha Richardson - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 89.2

Diamonds - because nothing says 'I love you' like a superficial and overvalued rock clawed from the guts of the earth by African slaves. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking in Racism - Slavery - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 47

Some prick from my work comes up to me before and makes a little smartarse comment in front of everyone to try and look funny.
He says "How's your wife and MY kids?" and smirks.

I replied "The wife's okay, the kids are retarded though..."

Me 1 - Smartarse 0 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by subtle_mocking which requires categorising - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 43.6

BUY OUR SICKIPEDIA BOOK. Grab the UK edition from Amazon.co.uk.

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