teh_ed's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 476 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 643 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 101 hours, 22 minutes | ||
The best of teh_ed's 21 jokes (View All).
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A female friend of mine was telling me how her boyfriend had been beating her with his fists so often lately, that she had now developed a permanent long thin scar on her head. Needless to say, after I heard this, I nearly pissed myself laughing. She got angry and shouted at me, " IT'S NOT A JOKE, YOU FUCKING PRICK. IT'S SERIOUS!!" So I replied, "Love, if you aren't joking, then why do you have a fucking punchline?" |
 
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Joke
submitted by teh_ed, originally by I think its mine in Crime - Domestic Violence - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 305
| A recent government study has shown that most people believe too much money and time are wasted on pointless government studies. |
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Akon discogrpahy: 2006 - I wanna fuck you 2010 - I just had sex And I thought I had no game... |
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In 10+ years of Joe Cole's professional career, he had not received a single red card. But after a few short weeks in Liverpool, he is already committing heinous acts of violence. I honestly did not know being a Scouser was contagious. |
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What's the only thing better than waking up on Valentine's Day to find that you have roses on your piano? Having tulips on your organ. |
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I've just returned from a holiday in South Africa. It was great, except every morning this big, black lizard broke into our kitchen and stole all of our food. I think it was a niguana. |
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BBC News: Tiger still loose in South Africa Porn stars and cocktail waitresses are set to be on high alert |
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Joke
by teh_ed in Celebrities - Sports Personalities - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 10.6
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I have this one blind friend, who feels people's faces to see what they look like. He told me as soon as he knows that it is a black person's face he is touching, he quickly punches the bastard in the face. I asked how he knew the colour of a person's skin without being able to see them, so he told me he knows when he is touching a nigger, because their skin is oilier, and greasier. I though to myself, "That's a touch racist" |
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I'm busy writing a novel about an Asian Massage Parlour It has a happy ending. |
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I gave my wife some of my best moves in bed tonight, afterwards I asked, "If you had to compare my bed skills to a famous golfer who would it be?" She said, "Tiger Woods." I said, "Oh really, is it because I'm strong, accurate, and efficient?" She replied, "Oh. you meant metaphorically? Then... uhhhhhh.... I don't know too much about golf" |
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Joke
by teh_ed in Celebrities - Sports Personalities - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 6
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