• tomonc's Statistics

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 0
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 301
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 3,305
    • Total Time Active:
    • 50 hours, 36 minutes
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Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics have just been generated for you. Aren't we nice?

  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 254
    • Live Jokes:
    • 139
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 115
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 13.01
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 11,583m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 23.78
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 19

tomonc's Jokes

Argentina have put in an appeal to FIFA stating that, on the grounds that the trophy was in Brazil, and Argentina was therefore closer to it than Germany, then it should rightfully be theirs.
Fox News has issued an apology after reporting that Birmingham is a 'Muslim-only City' where non Muslims don't go.

What a ridiculous mistake that is. Confusing Birmingham with Bradford.
After a few pints down at the local, talk got round to who had the most expensive watch. I showed mine first.

"That's a Rolex Oyster, worth two and a half grand," I grinned.

My mate John smiled and proudly pointed to his wrist.

"This is a white gold Patek Phillipe. I paid the best part of twenty grand for it."

Dave rolled up his sleeve to show his watch.

"What do you think of that then? It cost me £200,000."

Me and John stared a while then I said, "Dave, Thats a Casio."

"I know," he sighed. "My ex-wife bought it for me then found it in her sister's bed."