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|Total Joke Score:||875|
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I decided to get the word "the" tattooed on my right hand this morning, and then I got the word "recession" tattooed on my left hand.
Just so I can tell people that my wife has been hit hard by the recession when they ask about her black eyes.
My brother told me he'd buy me a new perching bird for my aviary if I'd teach his ex-girlfriend a lesson by raping her.
I thought "fuck that for a Lark"
I thought I saw a tear in Gordon Brown's eye earlier as he made his resignation speech outside No10.
Then I realised it was just a flash from the paparazzi cameras bouncing off his glass eye.